If it’s Monday, it must be Portland

Stop two on the Florida Marlins‘ Stadium Extortion Across America Tour (tm Doug Pappas): Portland, Oregon! Home of Powell’s Books and Greasy Kid Stuff! Marlins first stepson David Samson, vice chair Joel Mael, and stadium honcho Claude Delorme (famed for his statement that shifting Montreal Expos home games to Puerto Rico would at least make season tickets cheaper) headed to America’s most livable city in search of stadium-funding promises – let’s listen in:

“Everything we saw today, and more important, with everyone we had a chance to meet, the general consensus here is that baseball is important to Portland and that major league baseball is important to Portland.” –Marlins president David Samson

“Publicly financed baseball [will] not be coming to Portland on my watch. And that was not a point of discussion today. … I do not want the city of Portland taking out any mortgage on our children’s future.” –Portland Mayor Tom Potter

Asked whether most Portlanders couldn’t care less about a baseball team, Potter said: “That’s my very strong sense.” –The Oregonian

This is going just swimmingly, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, Dumb Stadium Reasoning Hall-of-Famer Samson isn’t resting on his laurels for 2006, telling reporters: “The way baseball looks at the Marlins, we are the second-largest recipient of revenue sharing, and we’ve won two World Series – not a great combination. They need the Marlins to get their act together, whatever that may be.” So let me get this straight: If low-revenue teams don’t win the World
Series, that’s a sign that they need new stadiums because they can’t compete. And if they do win the World Series, it’s a sign that they need new stadiums because baseball doesn’t want to subsidize winning teams?