Been losing sleep over the Minnesota Vikings stadium fund that is running out of money because e-pulltab gambling turned out not to be the hottest thing since sliced bread? Fear not, citizen! The Minnesota state gambling board has a better idea: e-bingo.
The new form of linked charitable gambling was approved by the Minnesota Gambling Control Board on Monday, March 18.
The “linked” part is key. Instead of competing against other people in the same location, players will match up with patrons at bars across the state. That means larger prize pots, which is expected to attract more players.
Yeah, that’ll totally work! Once the prizes are bigger, and you have to compete against everyone in the state, and you have almost no chance of winning… wait, start again. I mean, once you get people putting their meager wages down on e-bingo instead of the other pointless gambling habits they’ve picked up, thus undercutting revenues from those games… no, no, this is going to work, really! It has an “e-” in front of it, how can it possibly fail?
Meanwhile, speaking of those boring old e-pulltabs that don’t even allow you to lose to people on the other end of the state, MinnPost has looked at the demographics of the zip codes that buy the most of them. If you guessed that it’s predominantly the desperately poor that are in the ten highest-grossing e-pulltab locations, you’re a winner!
And just in case you thought this story could get any better than having two of the top e-pulltab sites being Knucklehead’s Bar & Grill and Aajax Likker, MinnPost further notes that right after the e-pulltab law passed, the head of the charity alliance pushing for it resigned and moved to Hawaii. Just like the patrons at Knucklehead’s dream of doing, only he gambled on something that he could make pay off.