At a brief meeting with reporters, [Miami Dolphins CEO] Dee was asked directly if the team would consider relocating to Palm Beach County, if a stadium was built for them there.
“We’re open minded to all long-term solutions,” Dee responded.
So, some reporter (I’m guessing from a Palm Beach news outlet) decided to ask Dee if the Dolphins would move to a new stadium there, and Dee, being no dummy, didn’t rule it out. No big news there.
The resulting Miami Herald headline:
Miami Dolphins ‘open-minded’ to stadium in Palm Beach
Number of people seriously proposing building the Dolphins a stadium in Palm Beach: zero. (Okay, one, counting whoever asked Dee that question.) Amount of money it would cost to build a new stadium in Palm Beach: somewhere around a billion dollars. Amount that the Dolphins would be willing to put in toward that amount: not a whole heckuva lot, given Dee’s past statements on the matter, and that the Dolphins would still be stuck with $232 million in remaining debt on Sun Life Stadium even if they moved. Budget shortfall on this imaginary stadium: somewhere around a billion dollars.
We can only hope that this was actually the start of a subtle ruse on the part of the unnamed questioner, and that future questions will become progressively more implausible: “If someone offered you a stadium in Tallahassee, would you move there?” “In Guantanamo Bay?” “In Mare Tranquillitatis?” Whoever can guess the point at which Mike Dee stops responding, “You can’t close the door on anything,” wins two tickets to … no, not a Dolphins game. Something good.