Attention, budding journalists! Today we present a lesson in the many different ways to report a story. For example, say that the rich guy who owns the local sports team has abruptly changed his plans for renovating his landmarked home field and demanded a landmarks commission hearing on the double — without warning the mayor, who responded by telling said rich guy to cool his jets, the commission will get to it when he gets to it. You could write that up, well, the way I just did there. Or you could go the route of Chicago Tribune Cubs beat reporter Paul Sullivan:
It may seem ridiculous to some, but for love of ivy a massive $375 million project once again has been put on hold.
Yeah! Stupid ivy!