Braves stadium development to feature lens flare, violations of space-time continuum

Renderings! The Atlanta Braves have ’em, showing what the new pretend urban neighborhood around their new Cobb County stadium will look like when complete! Look, here’s one now:


  • There will be a mix of modern buildings and retroish buildings, because that’s what people want in their fake urban neighborhoods.
  • The surrounding development will include some small parking lots, with nobody much parking in them, despite a game going on at the time.
  • Some cars are clearly visible on the roads while others are just a blur of head- and taillights, presumably because the architects are those aliens who slipped something in Kirk’s coffee to accelerate him to multiple times normal human speed.
  • The near future will include a really awful Jack & Jones ad campaign.
  • Enough lens flare to kill J.J. Abrams.

Really, though, none of this matters, because these are just sketches meant as a sales pitch for businesses to locate in the project (or as the Atlanta Journal Constitution paraphrased Braves VP Derek Schiller’s explanation, “the concept of project’s look, not the final design”). The eventual development could look like this, or it could look like something else, or it could never get built. It’s important to remember that you’re looking at an ad here, even if it’s a slightly more attractive one than that fake Jack & Jones thing.

11 comments on “Braves stadium development to feature lens flare, violations of space-time continuum

  1. This article is obviously an entertaining parody but seriously…a pretend neighborhood that may not be built? A drive by the site shows construction progress is not only visible every day but is ahead of schedule. This neighborhood concept of a live, work, play environment is similar to Atlantic Station, the Shops at Buckhead and others around the country that are popping up everywhere. As to the idea this drawing is merely a sales pitch, it’s ironic that on the same day the drawing is shared, the Braves announce they are already having to look at doubling the size of the original planned retail space because the interest from clothing and sports goods companies wanting in has been greater than expected. The micro-brewery, restaurants and concert venue will also enjoy being in this “fake neighborhood”.

  2. It’s the urbanism that’s fake, not the neighborhood. As for whether it’ll all get built, the Braves can say anything they want, but past history (St. Louis, Brooklyn, Harrison, etc.) shows that it’s usually smart to bet the over on when if ever build-out will be completed.

  3. I lived in Atlanta Metro for nearly 5 years. I know the area intimately in which they are trying to build. The traffic is beyond ridiculous now, with the 75 and 285 interchange, high-density residential housing, and office parks everything. How are they going to move people? Another factor people outside that region is unaware about is how contentious the 28 counties that make up Atlanta metro are towards one another. Each county has their own transportation system that runs exclusively within the county. There is no master-planned transportation agency normal large metros like New York, LA, and Chicago have. MARTA was supposed to be it, but counties like Cobb didn’t want to participate. This entire thing is a clusterf%&#.

  4. For all the fuss about this development, that has to be one of the most uninspired “concept” drawings ever done. There are suburban office parks with more original architecture.

  5. IT’S JUST A PLACEHOLDER, PEOPLE. They probably just cut and pasted buildings from Crazy Taxi.

  6. I’m a bit late to this, but can we talk about the fact the stadium appears to be pointing South, a direction no other stadium in MLB faces, because blinded batters in afternoon games does not make for compelling baseball.

  7. It’s been talked about:

    It’s not that far off from Comerica, so probably won’t directly blind batters. Still, doing this just so that fans can see exactly how far away downtown Atlanta is in the distance seems pretty silly.

  8. I’d want to ask Alan if these things are “popping up everywhere,” to include in Buckhead–then why waste all the space on a baseball stadium and parking lots when you could use that land to make real money?

    I wouldn’t call that “concept sketch” fake urban, I’d call it “fake suburban.” Heaven knows what the actual product will live up to.

  9. Correct if me I’m wrong, but there’s still none of the Braves’ promised cantilevering reflected in those renderings, right?