Bill Simmons’ invisible friend may or may not be right that some rich guys are interested in buying the Atlanta Hawks and moving them to Seattle (okay, he’s right about Chris Hansen, because Chris Hansen would buy his own grandmother and move her to Seattle if he could clone her four times and get her to suit up for NBA games), but the Hawks are indeed for sale, as announced yesterday by the team’s owners. And not only that, but the lucky winner will be buying not just the team, but operating rights to Philips Arena, which was built way back in 1999 when the team was still owned by Ted Turner. (The county paid most of the construction cost, though most of that the team is paying back in rent; though the county owns the building, so Turner got a tax break … I’m not going to start calculating subsidy totals for a 16-year-old arena deal, sorry, not on a Friday.)
Anyway, the interesting bit here is: Does including the arena in the deal make it less likely that a new owner could try to move the Hawks? (The NBA actually released a pretty strong statement on Wednesday that the team isn’t going anywhere, but it’s a sports league’s prerogative to change its mind.) After all, if Hansen, let’s say, were to buy the team and move it to Seattle, he’d have to pay a premium to get the arena as well, then would have to figure out what to do with it with no sports team to play in it. (I guess it would still have the Dream, which is separately owned by two women who share the same hair.) They could try to fill dates with concerts, I suppose, but even a guarantee of 41 sparse Hawks crowds a year might be better than starting from scratch with empty dates and hoping that Ariana Grande has a sister.
Without seeing how the internal finances of the Hawks/Philips Arena management structure look, there’s no way to tell, and don’t hold your breath waiting to see that. Unless … I bet they’d have to open their books to qualified bidders, right? So if we said we wanted to buy the Hawks… Quick, who has a few hundred million dollars free on their AmEx?