San Diego and St. Louis may have just won stadium vaportecture porn

The cities of San Diego and St. Louis released new stadium promo videos yesterday, and … I’m sorry, I already boggled at these once for Vice Sports, you’ll just have to go read my remarks there.

Or if you just want to boggle on your own, the videos are linked below. In fact, let’s make it a game: How many ridiculous things can you spot in the videos before checking my list? No peeking!



14 comments on “San Diego and St. Louis may have just won stadium vaportecture porn

  1. The purple trees in the San Diego fantasy are probably Jacarandas – very common in southern California. The blooms last about a month in mid-spring – you know – that time of the year when football is on everyone’s mind.

  2. I’m sure the thrill of sitting in a “Sponsor Activation Zone” in San Diego would be worth the hundreds of millions of dollars they are proposing to waste on that monstrosity. The sheer stupidity of both of these videos is mind boggling.

  3. (Note that I watched without the volume on)

    Chargers:

    – There certainly appear to be a lot of other things to do and other viable, money making ventures in San Diego instead of the stadium. Video should have stopped at the :54 mark.
    – I didn’t see any ticket-takers or security gates. Looks like fake fans (that just looked like they came from Sim CIty next door) can just walk right on in. Nice.
    – Only about 1/5th of the luxury boxes that will ultimately be built.
    – a pocket of empty seats at 1:53. Ownership won’t be happy about that.

    St. Louis:

    – “Of the city, for the city” As if this is some gift from the heavens.
    – “A place for everyone” Small print: Well, not really everyone. Just those who want to pay for seat liceses and, did we forget to tell you the place will be inacessible to the public other than on game days.

  4. Surf’s up, the sun is shining, the weather is beautiful, we’re playing some beach football…

    Life is good. Why would you waste time in that billion-dollar monstrosity?

    And you’ll have to drive over potholed roads whether you go to the beach or the money pit.

  5. I see San Diego copied the atomic bomb mushroom cloud/force field radiating from the stadium to the surrounding hinterlands made famous by the Milwaukee Bucks arena promo.

  6. I loved how it shows this overhead shot of a flashy stadium and pulls out to rows upon rows of suburban sprawl known as the parking lot.

    Nothing says economic spinoffs than a waste land of parking space.

  7. My favorite was the view of the darkened Edward Jones Dome in the background of the gleaming beautiful new stadium – to de-emphasize one folly (and emphasize another). You can almost see the next video starting production in 2034 (if we haven’t annihilated ourselves yet) of the new gleaming stadium with a darkened National Car Rental Field (and maybe still a darkened Edward Jones Dome) and new, gleaming “Google Holographic Industries Stadium”

  8. So this is supposed to improve bar business by…building a large entertainment area and bar near the stadium so no one has to leave?

  9. The music is lovely. It sounds like the soundtrack to the dramatic climatic battle of a movie. San Diego looks like a wonderful place to be OUTSIDE in the fresh air instead of anywhere near an indoors facility that you need to spend an arm and a kidney to afford a spot. I’m puzzled why St. Louis is shooting off fireworks on a bright sunny day though, it seems a waste of good explosions.

  10. Oh my. . . the San Diego “rooftop canopy” makes the stadium look like a gigantic toilet from above.

  11. My kid is having a birthday next week. He wants the party at my National Car Rental Stadium. Where do I pick up the keys?

    Oh my, you’re friggin Dick Enberg, you don’t need to mention that you won some nothing called the Rozelle Award.

  12. “Sponsor activation zones for increased revenue” will forever be my favorite stadium-shakedown phrase.