Utah Jazz spending $23m in tax breaks on really big sign reading “PIZZA,” apparently

The owners of the Utah Jazz, as you may recall, are launching a $125 million renovation of their privately owned arena with the help of $23 million in tax kickback subsidies that were approved with no public debate and for no damn reason (Salt Lake City got exactly nothing in exchange for its money), and now they’re releasing their first renderings of what they’ll be spending their cash on, and for some reason the first image is this: screen-shot-2016-09-22-at-7-36-05-amThat’s a whole lotta pizza concession stand! And it tells you that it’s selling pizza! And it’s sorta shaped like a pizza? And the guys making the pizza are definitely wearing chef’s hats, because you can’t put a price on that.

There are other photos in the Deseret News’ slideshow, and you know, the pizza one might actually be the most impressive. Jazz owner Gail Miller may be good at getting public subsidies in exchange for nothing, but she has some work to do on coming up with shiny vaportecture renderings to make taxpayers think they’re getting something for their money.

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10 comments on “Utah Jazz spending $23m in tax breaks on really big sign reading “PIZZA,” apparently

  1. I’m guessing their internal fan survey listed “lack of clearly designated Pizza concessions” as the number one fan complaint. Also, there are not nearly enough people in that picture to make that pizza stand profitable.

      1. I mean, that woman with her head on sideways is clearly thinking, “I’ve been fasting for two weeks, now to binge on all the pizza I can cram (sideways) into my starving maw.”

  2. Like unto Monty Python’s cheese shop, that pizza stand seems completely uncontaminated by pizza.

    1. I’m not sure I see any pizza ovens either, or the massive exhaust hoods they require.

      Maybe they’ll have Back to the Future Pt2 -type pizzas, as predicted for 2015.

  3. So I’m guessing you can watch them “make it” on the side where it says pizza. But you have to around to the back to order it?

    And then you can stand around and eat it. Because there’s no room for a table and chairs.

  4. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865662425/Facebook-chooses-New-Mexico-over-West-Jordan-for-data-center.html?pg=all

    It wasn’t a sports-related subsidy. But at least Utah is turning down some Corporate Welfare scams.

  5. I lived in Utah. People there need big signs. Although if you want people flocking around your concession stand, the sign needs to read:


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