Loria mulls selling Marlins to Ivanka Trump’s brother-in-law, our dystopian future is now

Miami Marlins fans and baseball followers in general have been waiting for decades to get rid of Jeffrey Loria, the evil mastermind who got Miami taxpayers to give him half a billion dollars for a new stadium so he could afford to buy better players and then said, Crap that, I’d rather keep the new stadium and still get the cheapest players I can so I can collect revenue-sharing checks from MLB. So any deal that removes this guy from the owner’s chair would be good, right? How about if it means Loria walking away with up to $1.6 billion and the team being run by Ivanka Trump’s brother-in-law?

The Kushners — led by Joshua Kushner, a venture capitalist, and Joseph Meyer, his brother-in-law and key lieutenant for the family’s investments — have pursued the Marlins for several months, devising a complicated financial arrangement that would include bringing in partners later, these people said. Mr. Kushner is the younger brother of Jared Kushner, Mr. Trump’s son-in-law.

Neither Jared Kushner, who married Ivanka Trump in 2009 and is a top White House adviser, nor Charles Kushner, the family patriarch who spent over a year in prison for illegal campaign donations, tax evasion and witness tampering, is participating in the effort, these people said.

While I don’t want to judge the son on the sins of the father, this is a somewhat problematic family to consider inviting into MLB, to say the least. And according to the New York Times, MLB has qualms about it as well:

The deal has already prompted questions within Major League Baseball, according to the people briefed on the conversations, about what kind of relationship Mr. Trump would have to the team and whether that would be a benefit or a disadvantage. Would fans or sponsors boycott or embrace the team or league based on a comment or Twitter post by Mr. Trump? And would Mr. Trump attend games?

(And if he did attend games, would he insist that they were really sellouts? <rimshot>)

The one silver lining of a Marlins sale to the Kushners: Taxpayers would get a cut of any sale price, according to its stadium deal, though given the complex formula for calculating that, Miami Dade County’s chief financial officer says he’d have to figure out what the county would have coming to it, guessing only that it would be “several million dollars.” This does not seem like proper compensation for getting out of the frying pan only to enter the Trump family fire, but the decision is in Loria’s hands. And we know that we can trust him to … okay, never mind.

28 comments on “Loria mulls selling Marlins to Ivanka Trump’s brother-in-law, our dystopian future is now

  1. Well MLB did welcome a cocaine addicted Warlord responsible for the birth of Isis and the deaths of thousands.

  2. The President is promising a ton of infrastructure spending. How about a new Marlins park on the parking lot Beckham wanted to put his privately funded stadium. Let’s see the Heat owner block that.

  3. Has anybody tracked down where that $1.6 Billion figure is coming from? Their local TV revenue is among the worst in MLB… they’re consistently near the bottom in attendance… Forbes has them valued at only $675 million on revenue of just $199 million. Either these are the suckers to beat all suckers or there’s some grand relocation plan involved because where they are now they will NEVER be worth anywhere close to that.

    • If the deal is worth $1.6 billion, relocation has to be involved. The team will likely revert to the Florida Marlins and play its home games in Orlando.

      • You’d be insane to leave Miami for Orlando. The Miami area is much larger, and the ballpark is relatively new, low attendance doesn’t really matter, the way luxury boxes are sold means that the team will be collecting revenue for years to come bad team or not. The reason for the high price is likely because it’s hard to own a baseball team, the buyer probably jumped at the chance and didn’t think about the consequences.

        • Actually the only reason why I would leave Miami for Orlando is for the new ballpark and that is what I was guessing. Regardless, people have cash to throw around and I would likely throw around that cash as well. On that note, I am buying the Dallas Cowboys if I am a major corporation.

        • I’m still waiting for a team to have two homes, especially as the tax payers pay for the stadiums anyway. Why not have them build two? One in Orlando and one in Miami, 500 million each would still be cheaper than most NFL stadiums.
          Continue this to the Texas Rangers- one outdoor non-air conditioned stadium, one indoor air conditioned one.
          And I’ve mentioned before about the Braves- an urban downtown stadium and a suburban one. Let’s be realistic, no one wants to go 82 games, so you have two sets of season ticket holders.

    • Apparently the actual sales price is going to be lower as Kushner hasn’t even done due diligence yet. Then again, Steve Ballmer overpaid for the LA Clippers by about $1.2 billion at the time of purchase. Granted, he has no debt so he keeps all the profit.

  4. If the Marlins can be sold for $1.6 billion, MLB won’t care who buys it. It would dramatically raise the boats for all other 29 franchises.

  5. We do know one thing, Jared Kushner is done as White House advisor. The President did hand day to day business off to his kids and he would expect a son in law to follow his lead. The ironic thing is that the President is looking forward to throwing out the 1st pitch for the Nationals vs the Marlins on April 3rd.

    • I don’t think we know any such thing. Kushner is still acting as an advisor to Trump, and to say he wouldn’t mix the White House with business is contrary to what is actually happening. The kids may be “running” the business, but Dad’s still an active participant.

    • I believe the article states that Mr. Ivanka would not be involved. It’s his siblings/other family members that are behind this.

  6. Surely Trump is a Yankees fan. Or surely he at least has enough sense not to be a Marlins fan.

    Judging by the way he runs the team, I don’t think even Loria is a Marlins fan.

  7. This is just a gift isn’t it?

    I hope it happens before #assclownpresident is impeached.
    I can see it now… the Marlins finish their second straight 100 loss worst-in-mlb season and get invited to the White House to be presented with a tacky replica of the World Series trophy by the President himself, who then congratulates the entire team on their dramatic championship while working in a few plugs for his daughter’s clothing line and a comment on how big his hands are in relation to the player’s….

    Many people are saying this…

    • MLB is going to need to step in and solve this in a way that ends up making John Henry the ambassador to France.