If you’ve ever wanted the nonsensical way news outlets cover teams’ “need” for new stadiums displayed in the course of a few short sentences, the San Francisco Chronicle’s Scott Ostler has you covered:
The A’s options for moving to other cities are limited or nonexistent. Rooted in Oakland? More like stuck in Oakland. If they don’t strike a ballpark deal soon, it will be panic time for everyone.
Schaaf, recently re-elected, really would like to avoid going down in history as the mayor who waved goodbye to three pro sports teams.
I’ve read it three times now, and I don’t know how a human being with a fully functioning brain typed those first four sentences, and then that fifth one right after it. The rest of the column makes enough sense, but guys, I’m worried about Scott Ostler. Can someone check on him?
Everyone else, meanwhile, sit back and enjoy this rendering of A’s fans waving to the giant floating eyeballs beyond the team’s new right-field fence: