Phantom Nashville MLB team releases stadium design that would require changing Earth’s orbit to work

The would-be owners of the would-be Nashville Stars MLB team don’t have much more than a team name and, uh, that’s pretty much it. But now they also have some renderings of what a Nashville MLB stadium might look like, and oh my goodness:

There is a lot going on here: the usual fireworks (in a location unviewable from the seats, which are empty anyway) and gratuitous spotlights. There’s also a quintuple-decker seating plan that, if this is remotely to scale, would put the cheap seats about 200 feet in the air, plus what initially looks like some sort of enormous curving sun shield in foul territory down the right field line — though honestly the stadium could use a sun shield in fair territory, given that batters would be facing almost due south, which isn’t normally done because then the sun is in their eyes. (The Detroit Tigers‘ stadium is close, but not as bad as this proposal; of course, it’s always possible the geometry of the rendering is off, given that it seems to have eliminated a nearly 90-degree curve in the Cumberland River at that point.)

Any other pretty pictures that aren’t quite as goofy?

That appears to be … a sold-out rock concert going on at the same time as a sold-out baseball game? Is there any world in which this would be a good idea? Did those fans on the hazardous-looking sky bridge buy tickets to the concert or to the ballgame, or does tickets to one get you access to the other for free? Do you have to choose which to watch, or does the band only play between innings and during pitching changes?

The pointless curving sun shield, meanwhile, turns out to be in fact a curving retractable roof. Except that the first image shows no tracks for it to slide on, and it’s not nearly thick enough to provide the multiple sliding panels that a retractable roof would require, and in any event there would be like a 200-foot-high gap for the setting sun to shine through and get in the eyes of right-handed batters.

“Completing our objective to bring Major League Baseball to Nashville will be a long process. We’re in the very early stages of that process,” Music City Baseball managing director John Loar told the Tennessean, which, tell me about it. The newspaper adds, “The group says it will not seek public money to fund stadium construction or development around the stadium, but has said it wants to explore building on city-owned property (such as that near Nissan Stadium pictured in the renderings) in partnership with the city.” So, we’re looking at a “We’ll build the stadium if you give us a pile of lucrative development rights” plan along the lines of the New York Islanders arena and Los Angeles Angels stadium renovation plans. I, for one, would rather see detailed renderings of who’s going to pay for what rather than these fanciful stadium pictures — but then, that’s exactly why team owners and wannabe team owners choose to release these vaportecture images, the better to misdirect you with.


12 comments on “Phantom Nashville MLB team releases stadium design that would require changing Earth’s orbit to work

  1. There is also what I like to call the “God Spotlight” (lighting the lights).

  2. MLB has stadium orientation rules that eliminate these issues but gave variance to globe life park, and Comerica, and ….being built “upside down” so all the seats are in the sun.

    2.01 Page 2, paragraph 3. Literally the first rule after game objectives.

    http://mlb.mlb.com/documents/0/8/0/268272080/2018_Official_Baseball_Rules.pdf

    • “It is desirable” isn’t exactly a hard and fast rule. But this Nashville stadium would break new ground in having the pitcher’s mound not just southeast of home plate, or even south-southeast, but slightly west of due south. All so that fans could, I guess, have a view of the river, which would have to be mostly blocked by support beams for the retractable roof anyway?

      • Minor league parks in Bakersfield, CA and Pittsfirld, MA face west, and have historically had sun delays (Bakersfield tempered this by having a big wall, and Pittsfield with big trees). Not sure this is a goos major league look.

  3. I have it on good authority they’ll make the World Series and their opponent will be Portland.

    • At the current pace, Portland will make it to the World Series around the same time Seattle does.

  4. Once Kriesman and the St. Pete indicate what they want to do with that lucrative land the Rays are on, the wheel will start to go in motion on relocation/expansion depending on what is decided

  5. As it stands right now, keeping the Rays at the Trop forever makes more sense than Charlotte or Nashville. Nashville already has 2 pro sports and the MLS coming soon. Not to mention its music scene to occupy its people’s attention. I think Nashville is an expansion backup if the Rays move to Montreal and Portland need an expansion cousin. This group is doing this because the shoe is about to fall on either the Rays or A’s.

    • If by “the shoe is about to fall” you mean that one of them is going to hit a point where they can’t get a new facility without relocating, then it’s definitely going to be the Rays.

      The A’s, despite their possibly misguided efforts to build at Howard Terminal, still have the existing Coliseum property as a virtually ready-to-go backup. Although, the city of Oakland did just sue Alameda County for trying to sell it’s 50% stake in the property directly to the A’s rather than to the City of Oakland first.

      In any case, I think it’s become quite clear that the Rays are a much more likely relocation candidate (maybe not until the 2027 time frame however) than the A’s.

      • I don’t know. I think the A’s should have just renovated the Coliseum like the Angels and called it a day. The language Kaval was using seemed pretty strong to me.

        • I seriously doubt Coliseum can realistically be salvaged and turned into a non-POS without spending as much as it’d cost to just build a new stadium. It has no redeeming qualities and has massive structural shortcomings for a baseball stadium.

  6. Think how much more money Escher could have made if he had gone to work for sports stadium consultants instead of running his own show.

    Really, the sky is (not) the limit.