Texas Stadium got blowed up real good yesterday. Pushing the plunger: This kid, who won the contest to do so by writing an essay about his campaign to help feed the homeless. One hopes he won’t have to now start feeding them cheese-like food products.
Ah, middle America. Because Texas is made up entirely of parking lots, the city of Irving is going to be charging $25 per car for spectators to watch Texas Stadium go down in a shower of processed cheese next month. The money will be donated to an undisclosed charity, presumably not related to fighting childhood obesity.
The plans to have a processed-cheese product sponsor the demolition of Texas Stadium has run into opposition: The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine says it’s “inappropriate” for the city of Irving to promote unhealthy foods, and instead offered $75,000 for the city to use the stadium implosion to highlight childhood obesity.
Irving Mayor Herbert Gears said this didn’t make any sense to him, but the committee has a plan and everything:
The physicians committee also suggested the city use a banner that depicts on overweight man eating cheese under the words, “Cheese really blows you up.”
Gears called the proposed banner “tacky” and “offensive” in its depiction of a “stereotypical overweight person.”
In a move that takes corporate sponsorship to new depths, the city of Irving, Texas has sold naming rights to the demolition of the Cowboys‘ old Texas Stadium to Kraft Foods, thus guaranteeing that the 39-year-old stadium will end its life in a “Cheddar Explosion.” The winner of a kids’ essay contest will get to push the plunger — no word yet from Kraft on whether the topic will be Why I Hate The Cowboys or Why I Like To Blow Stuff Up Real Good.
The take for Irving on all this: $75,000 in cash, plus an equal amount of delicious Kraft products. Total cost of the demolition: $5.8 million. I guess every bit counts…