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August 04, 2011
49ers unveil teeny tiny stadium
This just in: The San Francisco 49ers have finally succeeded in building a stadium! Okay, it's only two-and-a-half feet long, but why quibble over details?
Aside from allowing team employees to fondle it, the new stadium model looks pretty much identical to the computer renderings that were issued two years ago, though the "green roof" looks to have disappeared. (Either that, or the 49ers' craft drawer ran out of felt.) There will, however, still be metaphors about both Roman amphitheaters and open-source software.
Let's see...
1. Putting all of the suites and club seats on one side of the stadium and separating that structure from the rest of the place with what will turn out to be wind tunnels is a great way to keep Winston Herbert Oliver Rockefeller III, Esq., and his wife, Muffy, safe from those commoners.
2. Looks like the noise from the fans will dissipate quickly creating a very quiet experience. Also good for Winston and Muffy as they sit in a climate controlled room talking on their iPhones, enjoying prawn sandwiches, and drinking some kind of imported wine -- because the local varieties are obviously inferior. (And even if they were interested in watching a football game they can't be bothered to look out the windows to watch it because they'll feel like 60,000 homeless people are staring at them and/or casing the place for three straight hours.)
3. If the front rows of the second and third decks are set behind the last rows of the decks below them, and there are no suites and corporate boxes in between levels, why now create one bowl instead of multiple levels?
4. Considering the recent discussion of sharing the stadium with the Raiders, did the model have to be covered in various shades of red?
It's the Bay Area. More than just the John Chambers types and the Winston Rockefellers will be on their cell phones. Most of the commoners will as well. Just like at AT&T Park.
Posted by Dan on August 4, 2011 12:38 PM
What is this? A stadium for ants?!
There, had to get that out of the way.
Posted by Sasha on August 4, 2011 01:03 PM
Chris A.
Thanks for that... best laugh of the day so far!
Really great hype, but it isn't news.
Neither this nor the gush-fest over the players' Collective Bargaining Agreement puts a single cent into our Santa Clara Stadium Authority. This one agency will be down for hundreds of millions of dollars in stadium debt - with Santa Clara getting peanuts in return.
Last spring, the 49ers were crowing that they were paying 90% of the stadium's cost - which was a lie, anyway.
On June 7th of this year, we learned that $950,000,000 in "construction costs" are now "development costs" - and that the 49ers would only be paying 15-25% of those.
The 49ers are just manufacturing their own news. That's a dinky little model in the pics - but a huge debt load for one Santa Clara Agency.
Bests,
Bill Bailey, Treasurer,
SantaClaraPlaysFair.org
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Posted by Bill Bailey on August 5, 2011 01:17 AM
Exactly who is playing for Jed's newest little toy? Daddy or the City of Santa Clara?
Who needs this anyway? It had better be bought and paid for by the 49ers and not have any kind of reimbursement in their plans.
Notice the total lack of parking anyone? That is because there is exactly ZERO dedicated parking for this tinker toy exhibit. Perhaps the only honest representation ever done by the 49ers.
Posted by ReadyRanger on August 5, 2011 01:46 AM
Ugh. To think that that money-draining monstrosity will be in Santa Clara just makes me want to hurl. Oh, how I wish the 49ers would simply give it up and head for LA. I can't STAND football and its dumbing-down effect on our culture.
Posted by John on August 5, 2011 11:33 AM
Hello, RR - I'll just quote from the 'Committee of the Whole' report, presented by City Staff to the Council on Tuesday evening, June 7th:
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"The current estimate for the total costs for the development of the Stadium is approximately $950,000,000. Approximately 15% to 25% of the development costs will relate to tenant improvements within the Stadium and will be paid by [the 49ers' own Stadium Company] Stadco. As further detailed below, the [Santa Clara] Stadium Authority will fund the remaining development costs from a variety of sources..."
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Reason for the total lack of adjacent parking:
Santa Clara: 14-acre stadium, 17 acres of actual developed land
Candlestick: 14-acre stadium, 84 acres
Hunters Point: 14-acre stadium, more than 300 acres of potential development area - easily a hundred for a stadium and a parking lot.
Coliseum: 14-acre stadium, 105 acres.
Rgds,
Bill Bailey, Treasurer,
SantaClaraPlaysFair.org
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Bill,
What happens when you "plop" a stadium where it doesn't belong?
Faith based parking.
Posted by santa clara jay on August 6, 2011 02:49 AM
In humor, much truth. Good one, SCJ.
(Is there a pony somewhere in this "stadium plop"? Nahhhh.)
Rgds,
Bill B.
SCPF.org
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