The attorneys conducting the audit of the Minnesota Vikings‘ finances in the wake of owner Zygi Wilf’s racketeering suit loss have another week to go with their work, but the state official who hired them has just said, enh, never mind, we’re all good here:
Michele Kelm-Helgen, chairwoman of the Minnesota Sports Facilities Authority, said that even in a “worst-case” scenario involving a judge awarding tens of millions of dollars in punitive damages, Vikings owners Mark and Zygi Wilf appear to have the “financial capability” to pay for their share of the stadium building cost.
She also said that the public board overseeing the development doesn’t need to wait for a judge’s ruling later this month to move forward with the project.
“It looks like even with the court case that they will have the wherewithal to meet all their obligations on the stadium,” Kelm-Helgen said after a nearly two-hour, closed-door authority meeting with attorneys, who updated board members on their extensive legal and financial background check of the Wilfs.
So wait, that’s all we were waiting for? Confirmation that the Wilfs have money? I thought everyone knew they had money, the issue was whether they tended to get it by defrauding people — oh, you know what, never mind. Let’s just chalk this up as too many column inches wasted on butt-covering, and move on.
As I said when this story first broke, it’s much ado about nothing. They formed to a committee to discover that I’m a billionaire, lol.
Now you might say that shows how dumb they are, and it’s true, they are. But what it really shows is how good a job I’ve done buying up every pol that matters in Minnesota and controlling the process. I own the governor. That’s why he’s shocked, shocked to discover that I ripped off my partners out in Jersey. He and the rest of the Minnesota gang that couldn’t shoot straight (they’re all woozy from accepting my “donations”) quickly put together a panel to prove to the plebes, er, “constituents” that they cared.
And so said panel worked long and hard and finally proved…. that I’m rich! And really, what else matters in this day and age? Surely not ethics, cuz if it did I’d be out the door on a rail, lol. Game over, as usual. Score another one for this plutocrat. Palatial, gold-plated, publicly-funded football palace here I come, baby!!