Now that everyone is done making fun of Pat Williams for proposing $975 million in public subsidies for a $1.7 billion stadium for an MLB expansion team in Orlando that doesn’t exist, Williams is … doubling down? Pivoting? Let’s go with pivoting, since his latest statements shifted from how Orlando should build a stadium to get an expansion team to how Orlando should build a stadium to lure the Rays from Tampa Bay:
“Time is running out on Tampa Bay, and the question is: Can they get a ballpark built? More importantly, can we get a ballpark built?”
Can anyone get a ballpark built? Is the future knowable? If you ask enough questions, does that make you a visionary, or just Tucker Carlson? Please answer soon, I’m starting to worry about myself after this paragraph.
In any event, news coverage is now describing Williams’ proposed Orlando stadium as intended to “help lure the Tampa Bay Rays or a Major League Baseball expansion franchise to Central Florida,” which is more reasonable, or at least less laughable, than getting an expansion team while the Rays play just 100 miles away. And look, Williams also has a clear plastic binder:
According to Williams, an economic and fiscal impact study conducted by JLL, a local firm that specializes in such studies, found that the stadium complex would generate $40 billion of economic impact over the next 30 years.
JLL actually appears to be a real estate firm founded in London and now based in Chicago, but sure, they do consulting studies, even if they don’t really appear to specialize in them. Projecting $40 billion of economic impact over 30 years is an impressive feat, especially given that most baseball teams bring in less than a third of that per year in their entire business, but sure, maybe after the Great Inflation and Dollar Devaluation of 2040, $40 billion will be what you give your kid in weekly allowance. Or maybe it’s just that “economic impact” as a metric of anything is, as we’ve discussed here many a time, some bullshit — the Orlando Sentinel article that mentioned it didn’t bother to provide a link, so it could easily be just whatever number the JLL economic impact consulting crew thought would provide sufficient shock and awe to make everyone forget about the $975 million subsidy, $40 billion is a lot bigger than $975 million, so that means it must be good, right?
Even if this proposal ends up going nowhere — it still needs approval from, first off, Orange County’s new Tourist Development Tax Citizen Advisory Task Force, which is set to make spending recommendations in July — it’s likely to, as one local report puts it, “put a little more pressure on Bay Area leaders to come up with the funding to convince Rays ownership to keep the team,” which has to bring a smile to Rays owner Stu Sternberg’s face. At last, perhaps, the bidding war that he never really got going with Montreal!
But here I go burying the lede again. What you want to know is whether Williams presented any vaportecture renderings, and whether they will make you want to gouge your eyes out after seeing them. And the answer is yes, and oh yes:
Some initial thoughts:
- That is very orange.
- I see the Dreamers stadium will feature one of those upper decks that require a transporter beam to get to your seats, as will be all the rage with Gen Zers in the 2030s.
- Is that video board suspended over the field, blocking the view of the game for fans in the center field upper deck?
- Why do both teams appear to be wearing the same shade of gray uniforms? (The Dreamers, assuming that’s the team in the field, appear to be wearing orange socks perhaps, but their uniforms are decidedly gray.)
- Is there a worse sports logo than an O with a baseball in the middle of it?
- Why do so many fans in the foreground appear to be taking pictures of the game with 2000-era point-and-shoot cameras? Is that what phones are going to look like in the future?
- I realize the Dreamers, and the Rays for that matter, won’t have a long history to celebrate, but who even are those people depicted on the top ribbon board? Is one of them Paul Newman?
- OH MY GOD ARE THOSE TREES IN THE SKY
Just remember: $40 billion in economic impact. Repeat it to yourself at night, and let all your questions wash away.
Why do so many fans in the foreground appear to be taking pictures of the game with 2000-era point-and-shoot cameras?
Because if life has taught me anything, hipsters will bring them back.
I’ll take the positive side. First, it’s nice to see some foul territory. Most teams have cut that down to nothing. But best of all, the Orlando Dreamers represents a tremendous opportunity for a Supertramp revival. “Dreamer” their 1974 cringy chart topper is sure to be the team’s official anthem. That alone should generate $40 billion in recored sales.
40 billion??
The Royals are going to steal that economic impact study for sure!!
I like the lower banner with the vague person face wearing a bike helmet.
And the upper banner on the right with the upside down pitcher.
Maybe they could use the orange bird that the citrus commission once used as a mascot (and which became famous in Disney lore) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_Bird
And I have to ask: if a hitter knocks into the hanging sign is a ground rule double? And then wouldn’t everyone just swing for hitting it constantly?
Who builds a stadium with luxury boxes in the outfield and where is the stadium going to in right center, downtown?
Why are there condos above the right field upper deck?
Why is there a man’s face between Orlando and Dreamers and is he spying on everybody?
A collection of these kind of images of never-built stadiums would be a good coffee-table book.
Orlando Dreamers is a stupid name, it better have a roof on it because if it rains. Well you know