The Bengals stadium talks have descended into dadaist poetry

Negotiations between Cincinnati Bengals execs and Hamilton County on a lease extension continue, and as a bunch of emails that emerged last week reveal, they’ve been at times contentious: “It is very clear that we are talking past each other” is one typical missive. Yesterday Hamilton County commissioner Alicia Reece chimed in on the dispute, and uh:

“Our people can get in that room, come back with some changes to this lease, and have a win-win so we can present this to the taxpayers,” Reece said. “Will that be easy? No. If I’m them, I’m hugging the zero down. I’m hugging to give me all the resources. I’m hugging them. I would tell you what’s wrong with this lease. This is a good deal, but the taxpayers did speak. They did vote to have two stadiums, but they never voted for this. And this is what they’re angry about.”

Is “the zero down” a mortgage thing? A football thing? Are the people hugging it taxpayers or Bengals negotiatiors? WKRC-TV included video of Reece’s statements, and the actual transcript (transcribed by me) is only marginally clearer:

“Our people can get in a room, come back with some changes to this lease, and have a win-win and be able to present this to the taxpayers. Now, will that be easy? No. Because if I’m them, I’m hugging to the zero down. I’m hugging to give me all the resources. I’m hugging this lease. I would tell you, ‘What’s wrong with this lease? This is a good deal!’ But the taxpayers did speak. They did go to have two stadiums, but they never voted for this.” (She holds up a sheaf of papers, presumably the proposed lease.) “And this is what they’re angry about.”

With all the focus on the vibes, there’s been little revealed to the public about what’s actually being discussed for a lease extension, which is on the table because the Bengals’ historically sweetheart lease is expiring in June of next year, and the team needs to decide by this June whether to extend it by two years. (The team can extend it for four more two-year periods after that if it wants.) Reece has previously indicated her interest in putting a billion-dollar roof on the team’s stadium and maybe paying for it with state money or NFL money or who knows what. The last proposal from the Bengals negotiators that I can find is one from 2023 where the county would spend $300 million on renovations in exchange for a five-year lease extension, which at $60 million a year would be easily a new record for most expensive lease extension — and would only kick the can down the road until the year 2031. Hugging to the zero down is looking better and better.

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5 comments on “The Bengals stadium talks have descended into dadaist poetry

  1. Why can’t the roof(s) be holographic just like the displays are supposed to be?

    I mean, come on people, hasn’t this team waited long enough for you to invent holographic stadium elements (non-specific)?

    Greensboro, Boise, Fresno… you know they all have holographic stadiums just waiting for the go sign. Don’t screw this up again, Cincinnati…

    As an aside, I assumed that the hugging to the zero down was a mixed metaphor for “the Bengals will hug you on camera and before voters if you agree to let them put no money whatsoever into this facility, never mind putting any down/up front”.

    But that’s me. I’m no universal translatorizer….

  2. If we work just a little bit harder, we can make this situation a win-win-win-win-win! The people, the city, the team, the invisible parasaurolophus herd that hangs out down by the river (of course you haven’t seen them, they’re invisible, that’s how they survived this long), Ming the Merciless from Planet Mongo…

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