NY gov vows to get Bills stadium plan done in next two weeks, or next three months, one of those

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul said many, many words yesterday about her plan to build a new Buffalo Bills stadium. Here are some of them, presented in the actual order she said them:

“I’ve made it clear to the Buffalo Bills organization that we are, we wanted to accommodate both options and let them see the cost of downtown in Orchard Park, but not putting our finger on the scale and if their desire is Orchard Park, it’s Orchard Park…

And:

“I’ve also offered two timelines to them, whatever works best for them. I can get this done by the end of this year. I can get this done. We can work out the numbers. We’re having good conversations, or I also have the until the end of March because it is a budgetary item so I also have a larger window if we need more time. So it’s not a hard deadline, but my desire is I’m a Buffalo Bills fan, let’s lock this down. Let’s get it done. So we are very intently focused on keeping the Bills here. If Orchard Park’s their first choice, their only choice, it’s Orchard Park and we’ll make it all happen. So we’re very excited about announcing a deal hopefully in the near future, but a lot of devil in the details.”

So, that all means … nothing at all, that I can tell, other than that Hochul still wants to build a Bills stadium somewhere, sometime. The nearest to anything in there that is actual news is the “two timelines” thing, which I guess means Bills owners Kim and Terry Pegula can come to an agreement on a stadium plan in time to get it in the state budget when she issues it in January or not, but really it’s hard to see anything past all the croutons in that word salad.

Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown, meanwhile, did some nice threatmongering on behalf of the Pegulas, asserting that “the longer this lingers on with other cities, with other states wanting professional football teams, I think it puts our team, the Buffalo Bills, at risk.” Not that team execs have actually threatened to move anywhere, and not that there are a ton of cities with NFL-ready stadiums or plans for them looking to pounce, but … Brown means Greensboro, doesn’t he? I can read between the lines.

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Buffalo Bills considering move to Greensboro, says clever robot

An FoS reader passes along this report from Eleuther.ai:

Reports say that the Buffalo Bills are looking to move to Greensboro, N.C. from Orchard Park, N.Y.

“Our owner’s intent is to bring the Buffalo Bills to North Carolina and we’re actively working on that and see where that goes,” said Fred Jackson of the Bills in an interview with DYMM. “We’ll get there.”

Doing so would represent the team’s third move within four years. Buffalo was originally based in Toronto, Canada, before moving to Toronto, where it played for four years before it moved to Orchard Park. The Bills also played in Baltimore in the mid-70s and in Toronto in the late-70s before they played a season in Buffalo in 1983.

As you’ve probably figured out from that last paragraph, if not from the website name, this isn’t an actual news story: It’s what an online AI program came up with when given the prompt “Reports say that the Buffalo Bills are looking to move to Greensboro, N.C.” Impressive that the AI figured out the Bills currently play in Orchard Park! Not so impressive that the AI thinks Buffalo used to be in Toronto, then moved to Toronto! Also, previously played in Toronto! Will this multiverse of madness never stop?

For the record: The Bills are not moving to Greensboro, that’s just a thing I made up last week to see if I could get people talking about it, like A-Rod buying the Minnesota Timberwolves and moving them to Seattle, another thing that is not happening. Also: #billstogreensboro, baby!

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Friday roundup: Big-league owners seek big-money land deals, while in the minors they’ll just take a check, thanks

Holy moley, all the news this week! No time for clever repartee, let’s dive right in:

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